Just like anything in life, there is an art an a science. In this article I outline the step by step science to using dissonance effectively. Take the material I teach you and use your art to apply the most effective method in a given situation.

Step One: Get a Commitment

You can create or reveal commitments in your prospects by ensuring that the commitments are public, affirmative, voluntary, and effortful (PAVE).

Public

Make your prospect’s stand as public as possible. Get a written commitment and make that written commitment public. Involve family and friends in the proposed action. Engage your customer in a public handshake to seal the deal in front of other employees and customers.

Affirmative

You want to get as many “yes” answers as possible because yeses develop consistency within the person that will carry over into your major request. This technique reduces dissonance and makes it easier for prospects to say yes to your final proposal. Even if it is a watered-down, easy request, getting a yes to any request makes it easier to evoke the same response down the road. Close with a series of questions–ideally six–that all end with a yes. Desire increases with each yes, and decreases with each no. Every time we say yes to a benefit, our desire goes up.

Voluntary

When getting commitments, start small and build up to larger commitments later. You cannot force commitments. Long-term approval has to feel like it comes from your prospects’ own will, something they want to do or say. They have to volunteer to test drive the car, write on the contract, or request more information. When they make a commitment, you can make the action more voluntary and solidify the commitment by saying things like, “Are you serious? Do you really mean that? You’re not just pulling my leg, are you?”

Effortful

The more effortful and public the commitment is, the more commitment it will create down the line. The more effort your prospects exert in making the commitment, the more it seals the deal. You don’t want to ask a prospect to do something extreme but you do want them to exert extra effort.

Remember the car dealer example? Car dealers often offer a great deal on a car just to get people in the lot. The prospect then makes a commitment to come in and look at the car only to find that it’s already been sold. Already committed to being there, they browse the lot and find another car they like. They then start to fill out the paperwork, talking terms and completing forms. These are all small effortful commitments that later lead to full commitment. Many times, the car dealer will continue obtaining these small commitments only to come back and say he can only give $2,000 for the trade in instead of $2,500 like he promised. At this point, the buyer has exerted so much effort and has created so many small commitments that the extra $500 won’t break the deal.

Step Two: Create Dissonance

Once you have the commitment, you can create the dissonance. You create that dissonance or imbalance by showing your prospects they have not kept or are not keeping their commitment. For example, “You said you needed this right away. Why do you have to think it over and come back tomorrow?” The person’s self-image is squeezed from both sides by consistency pressures. The prospect feels great internal pressure to bring self-image in line with action. At the same time, there is pressure from the outside to adjust this image according to the way others perceive us.

Step Three: Offer a Solution

As a Master Persuader, whenever you create dissonance, you always need to offer a way out. You need to show, prove, or explain how your product or service can reduce the dissonance your prospect feels. For example, “If you donate right now, we can continue to feed the homeless children in Africa.”

Keep in mind that the final solution or major request is what you ultimately want to accomplish. You prepare your whole persuasive presentation around the moment when you will ask for that major request. Once your prospects accept the solution, they have convinced themselves that they made the right and only choice. As a result, they feel great about their decision. This makes the cognitive dissonance disappear. The decision was their personal choice and they have solved the dilemma in their own minds. They know exactly what to do. The solution is your call to action.

Influence is a key element in mastering the techniques of  Magnetic Persuasion.  Influence is the highest form of persuasion. With influence, people are spurred on to action because of your character, not your maneuvers.  Persuasion is what you do or say, but influence is who you are.

How does one gain this type of influence?  How do you gain a strong enough influence over people that they will act simply because an idea came from you?  How about having a strong enough influence over people that they are still compelled to move forward even when you’re not around?

Most people don’t mind buying into a vision if they know exactly where they fit into it and what they have to do to achieve it. Visions must excite and influence others to take action.  Vision gives us energy, passion, and a reason for living, growing, and working hard.

When those around you have a sense of this mission and share your vision, you have developed followers who would be willing to sacrifice almost everything for your cause. Vision creates converts and brings commitment and determination, just as long as you provide the plan as well as the way and the why.

Creating a sound vision begins with focusing on our destination. You must know where you are going.  Remember the movie Alice in Wonderland, where Alice runs into a fork in the road and she asks the Cheshire cat which one she should take?  The cat asks, “Where to do want to go?”  “I don’t know,” replies Alice. The cat then responds, “Well then, it doesn’t matter.”

When getting somebody to buy into your vision, ask them where they see themselves with respect to that vision.  You’ll learn a lot. You learn if they see it in the first place.  You’ll learn if they believe it.  They will tell you where they see themselves, and that provides “self-created accountability” that you need to have motivated and loyal team members.  Check in with them about their vision frequently.  Ask what they need to make it happen, and how you can help.

Ego kicks in anytime someone challenges your abilities, especially your abilities to do your business, your immediate and instinctive reaction is to prove them wrong! When employing this tactic, be careful to avoid damaging the ego. VERY IMPORTANT: When you cause damage instead of producing a challenge, you will create an air of indifference from your prospect.

Another challenge to someone’s ego is commonly used by sports coaches in a team environment. When during football practice a player is not putting in 100 percent, is late for meetings, or keeps making the same mistake, the coach has a perfect ego-based solution. He brings the team together and explains exactly what has happened with that particular player. He then has the whole team, except for the guilty player, run laps. This punishment is a challenge to the ego of this football player. Such a situation only has to happen once to be persuasive for each member of the team.

There are many challenging messages geared towards our egos. Think of a multilevel marketing meeting, where managers say they are looking for “go-getters” and “people who can take action.” Or what about a teacher who tells the student, “I’d like you to do these advanced assignments”? I have seen sales representatives make a subtle attack on the prospect’s ego when they were not getting the sale. They simply say, “I guess you don’t have the authority to make that decision.” You should see the egos take action! Another example is giving people credit for things they don’t even know. When you give people credit for knowing something they really know nothing about, they generally will say nothing and allow you to believe them to be smarter or more aware than they really are. The catch is that they then will try to live up to the undeserved credit that you have bestowed upon them in order to lead you to believe they really are smart. You have heard such phrases as, “You probably already know….” or “You will soon realize…” These are direct challenges to our egos.

In persuasion, we are faced with the difficult task of building the egos of our listeners while placing our own egos on hold. In order to effectively persuade, you have to let go of your ego and focus on your objective. You don’t have time to mend a bruised ego. Check your ego in at the door and remember your overriding purpose. Focus on persuasion, not on yourself.

As always make a comment and bookmark this page for others. Do you agree? Have an example? Disagree? Forward this page to a friend you think might need help with their ego.

Good listening is not just looking at someone and nodding your head in agreement. You have to acknowledge what is being said and let the other person know that you understand. The more you can acknowledge what is being said, the greater ability you have to persuade and influence. Why? Because the person speaking with you will feel important and understood (Law of Esteem).

Why is listening so difficult for most of us? Why is it that when two people get together and talk, they both walk away with two completely different views about the conversation?  This is an enormous problem in our society today!  Just think about where the world would be today if people took the time to sincerely listen?  Dr. Stephen R. Covey says that to be a Highly Effective Person you must “first seek to understand.”  When you really and truly understand where the other person comes from, your ability to persuade increases 10 fold.  I have included some of the main problems people have with listening so you can get a jump start on developing this critical skill.

• Thinking about our response while the other person is talking. Instead of thinking about what the other person is saying, we often think about what we personally want to say next or where we want the conversation to lead. We are mentally planning our own agenda. In effect, we patiently wait our turn to talk but we never have give and take between the two parties.

• Not Concentrating. We talk at a rate of 120 to 150 words per minute, but we can think 400 to 800 words per minute. This allows us time to think in between words that are being said. We can pretend to listen while really thinking of something else.

• Jumping to Conclusions. Sometimes we assume we know exactly what the other person is going to say next and we begin forming reactions based on those assumptions. We start putting words into the other speaker’s mouth because we are so sure of what they mean.

I encourage you to leave a comment. Are you guilty of any of the above?

As always, if you feel others will benefit from this post please bookmark it at one of the websites below. Thanks.

Following are 10 simple guidelines to keep your speech and verbal packaging on the right track.

• Don’t use jargon or technical language unless you are sure every member of your audience understands the meaning.

• Don’t use profanity or slang. In general, using profanity damages your credibility. Be sensitive to whatever language your audience might find offensive, profanity or otherwise. Avoid name-calling and other forms of abusive language.

• Speak in everyday language. You want your audience to relate to you and to feel as comfortable with you as possible. Use language that will make you seem familiar and easy to follow.

• Keep your language simple and clear.

• Keep your sentences short. Use as few words as possible unless you are painting the picture–just one idea at a time.

• Use words that will engage the audience. Use “you,” “we,” “us,” and even “I” if you are relating a personal experience.

• Don’t use vague and abstract words. They muddle your meaning and confuse your listener.

• Don’t talk down to your listener by using pompous and pretentious words. Be direct; don’t bluff or beat around the bush.

• Use verb-driven language. By using verb-driven language, you will arouse a greater sense of action and motivation. Using these kinds of verbs will make your statement more convincing because your audience will engage their emotions, consciously and subconsciously. Verbs that are abstract or overused do not communicate excitement.

• Have a good time doing the above. If you dread what you are doing it will show. Think of the big picture and all the good that comes from your presentation for everyone involved.

The journey to success starts with belief, proven principles and a burning desire to change. A lot of it will boil down to how your mind is programmed and whether you have given yourself permission to win.

Let’s revisit the good old days of sitting in math class. Take the mathematical operation 4 + 4, for example. The answer is 8, right? What if we keep the same numbers, however, but change the operation—say, 4 x 4. The answer is 16—the same two numbers with a different operator yield twice the results. Now think about 4 to the fourth power, or 256. Again, same numbers but the resulting figure is exponentially greater than the one we started with. This is what I mean when I talk about the Exponential Factor. Using the same raw material—you—we can create massive success just by thinking about and approaching things differently. By changing your outlook and the way you operate, you can exact profound change.

Andre Maurois imparted the now-famous anecdote: “If you create an act, you create a habit. If you create a habit, you create a character. If you create a character, you create a destiny.” Small things usually do make the biggest differences. That’s just working smarter, not harder.

We know that it is not about working twice as hard. For example, Olympic champion Peter Vidmar used to always be the last gymnast to leave the gym. Surrounded by many very gifted athletes, he felt that he didn’t have the natural talent that some of his competitors did. He knew that he couldn’t practice or work out twice as hard as they did. Hour for hour, he gave it just as much as they did. He made one minor adjustment, however, and it paid off with big dividends. He always just added on another fifteen minutes or so to each workout after everyone else had left the gym. When he went on to win a gold medal over those he felt were more innately gifted, he attributed the extra fifteen-minute workouts as being a key to his success.

My challenge to you is to keep coming back to this website and I’ll show you how you can have the Exponential Factor. The result will be exponential success with no limits. Some people are satisfied with minor successes throughout their lives. Adding to their lives a little at a time is good enough. Others want to multiply the joy they have and the goals they want to accomplish. Then there are those who demand the most from life and want to achieve success exponentially. Just remember, it starts with how you look at it. It’s the same basic building blocks, but exponential success just has a better plan and execution.