Here is one of my private coaching sessions on detecting deception. It is 24 minutes long, we cover how to detect when some one may be trying to take advantage of us. There is a Q & A session in the end. Enjoy…

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Just like anything in life, there is an art an a science. In this article I outline the step by step science to using dissonance effectively. Take the material I teach you and use your art to apply the most effective method in a given situation.

Step One: Get a Commitment

You can create or reveal commitments in your prospects by ensuring that the commitments are public, affirmative, voluntary, and effortful (PAVE).

Public

Make your prospect’s stand as public as possible. Get a written commitment and make that written commitment public. Involve family and friends in the proposed action. Engage your customer in a public handshake to seal the deal in front of other employees and customers.

Affirmative

You want to get as many “yes” answers as possible because yeses develop consistency within the person that will carry over into your major request. This technique reduces dissonance and makes it easier for prospects to say yes to your final proposal. Even if it is a watered-down, easy request, getting a yes to any request makes it easier to evoke the same response down the road. Close with a series of questions–ideally six–that all end with a yes. Desire increases with each yes, and decreases with each no. Every time we say yes to a benefit, our desire goes up.

Voluntary

When getting commitments, start small and build up to larger commitments later. You cannot force commitments. Long-term approval has to feel like it comes from your prospects’ own will, something they want to do or say. They have to volunteer to test drive the car, write on the contract, or request more information. When they make a commitment, you can make the action more voluntary and solidify the commitment by saying things like, “Are you serious? Do you really mean that? You’re not just pulling my leg, are you?”

Effortful

The more effortful and public the commitment is, the more commitment it will create down the line. The more effort your prospects exert in making the commitment, the more it seals the deal. You don’t want to ask a prospect to do something extreme but you do want them to exert extra effort.

Remember the car dealer example? Car dealers often offer a great deal on a car just to get people in the lot. The prospect then makes a commitment to come in and look at the car only to find that it’s already been sold. Already committed to being there, they browse the lot and find another car they like. They then start to fill out the paperwork, talking terms and completing forms. These are all small effortful commitments that later lead to full commitment. Many times, the car dealer will continue obtaining these small commitments only to come back and say he can only give $2,000 for the trade in instead of $2,500 like he promised. At this point, the buyer has exerted so much effort and has created so many small commitments that the extra $500 won’t break the deal.

Step Two: Create Dissonance

Once you have the commitment, you can create the dissonance. You create that dissonance or imbalance by showing your prospects they have not kept or are not keeping their commitment. For example, “You said you needed this right away. Why do you have to think it over and come back tomorrow?” The person’s self-image is squeezed from both sides by consistency pressures. The prospect feels great internal pressure to bring self-image in line with action. At the same time, there is pressure from the outside to adjust this image according to the way others perceive us.

Step Three: Offer a Solution

As a Master Persuader, whenever you create dissonance, you always need to offer a way out. You need to show, prove, or explain how your product or service can reduce the dissonance your prospect feels. For example, “If you donate right now, we can continue to feed the homeless children in Africa.”

Keep in mind that the final solution or major request is what you ultimately want to accomplish. You prepare your whole persuasive presentation around the moment when you will ask for that major request. Once your prospects accept the solution, they have convinced themselves that they made the right and only choice. As a result, they feel great about their decision. This makes the cognitive dissonance disappear. The decision was their personal choice and they have solved the dilemma in their own minds. They know exactly what to do. The solution is your call to action.

Influence is a key element in mastering the techniques of  Magnetic Persuasion.  Influence is the highest form of persuasion. With influence, people are spurred on to action because of your character, not your maneuvers.  Persuasion is what you do or say, but influence is who you are.

How does one gain this type of influence?  How do you gain a strong enough influence over people that they will act simply because an idea came from you?  How about having a strong enough influence over people that they are still compelled to move forward even when you’re not around?

Most people don’t mind buying into a vision if they know exactly where they fit into it and what they have to do to achieve it. Visions must excite and influence others to take action.  Vision gives us energy, passion, and a reason for living, growing, and working hard.

When those around you have a sense of this mission and share your vision, you have developed followers who would be willing to sacrifice almost everything for your cause. Vision creates converts and brings commitment and determination, just as long as you provide the plan as well as the way and the why.

Creating a sound vision begins with focusing on our destination. You must know where you are going.  Remember the movie Alice in Wonderland, where Alice runs into a fork in the road and she asks the Cheshire cat which one she should take?  The cat asks, “Where to do want to go?”  “I don’t know,” replies Alice. The cat then responds, “Well then, it doesn’t matter.”

When getting somebody to buy into your vision, ask them where they see themselves with respect to that vision.  You’ll learn a lot. You learn if they see it in the first place.  You’ll learn if they believe it.  They will tell you where they see themselves, and that provides “self-created accountability” that you need to have motivated and loyal team members.  Check in with them about their vision frequently.  Ask what they need to make it happen, and how you can help.

Anytime you’re in a leadership position, you are faced with the question of how best to motivate those who work under you. There are countless philosophies and ideas out there, all claiming to be exactly what you need.

The Foundation of Teambuilding

The truth is, there is no one perfect answer. Moreover, what works at one time will not always work at another. There are team dynamics that you must always be in tune with. For example, suppose you offer a trip to Hawaii for the quarter’s highest closer. If newer or less experienced reps feel like they can’t stack up against the competition, then not only will they feel discouraged, but they may actually feel like there’s not much use in trying. They will then become even less productive. Some reps will respond to cash rewards, while others are incited even more by praise and recognition. As Maslow said, “If the only tool in your toolbox is a hammer, then you will treat everyone like a nail.” The truth is, everyone is not a nail. To be an effective motivator, you need to become an acutely attuned student of human nature and understand what makes people tick. Not until you do this on an individual level can you integrate your observations into a team-incentive approach that will work for the whole.

I strongly recommend having this discussion with your team members on an individual basis: “What do you need right now to help you feel like you can do your best? What are your goals in your work here, and how can I help you achieve them?” I can think of no better way of clearly and directly communicating your sincere and honest interest in your team and what they can bring to the table. This direct line of questioning also demonstrates to your employees that they are not just another grunt or number. This direct approach, combined with quiet observation, will give you the vital information you need to discover what motivates each particular employee.

One of the biggest mistakes managers make is withholding praise or acknowledgement until after an employee has “been good” or done something to “deserve” it. You may have heard the old grass adage: You tell the grass, “When you grow, and only after you grow, will I then give you water.” This is just not how motivation works. This kind of reward system demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature and basic human needs. It breeds insecurity amongst employees, who may never function at their best over the long-term because they can never feel confident about what they’re doing or where they stand.

Rewarding after the fact also creates resentment. It doesn’t take an employee long to figure out that a boss considers her/his value conditional. How can anyone be expected to feel enthusiastic about her/his work and free to unleash her/his greatest productive energies with such a message confronting her/him every day? Yes, it is the typical tug-of-war in the workplace: Employers feel that their employees are privileged to even have the job; employees feel that employers don’t appreciate how hard they work. Going back to the grass analogy, I would suggest that “nourishing” your team from the get-go, whether they have merited it or not, will spawn the greatest growth and productivity over the long term. Your employees will work thoroughly, creatively and enthusiastically because you have bred this kind of work ethic. Then, you’ll no longer feel like you’ve got to pull teeth to get even the bare minimum accomplished.

Let’s spend some time together exploring what it takes to get the best out of your team. There needs to be enough pressure that your workers are stimulated to action, but not so much that the environment becomes stressful and debilitating. One of the best ways to accomplish this proper level of pressure is to help your team members feel like they personally have stock in the outcome. Brainstorm ways in which a certain task or project can really become something your team can take ownership of, rather than something you’re barking at them to do. Your team members have to feel compelled to achieve because of their personal stake in the situation, not because “the boss said so.” How do you inspire them to have a vision for why the task has to be done? How do you instill in them that they are a vital part of the company’s success? This type of communication and understanding, before the task is even begun, speaks volumes to your team. There is no better way to kick off a new campaign than for your employees to all have a secure knowledge of their standing within the company and why the company values and needs them.

When motivating others, there is a direct relationship between the type of persuasive technique used and how short or long-lasting the results will be. Basically, the most controlling and coercive measures yield the most temporary results, while the most deferring and respectful measures, those in which people feel free to act voluntarily, yield the most lasting results. Another interesting relationship is that it is often the use of control or force that is the easiest motivator to employ, perhaps giving reason to why this strategy is so commonly used. On the other end of the spectrum, control takes more time and patience to develop.

Conclusion
Persuasion is the missing puzzle piece that will crack the code to dramatically increase your income, improve your relationships, and help you get what you want, when you want, and win friends for life. Ask yourself how much money and income you have lost because of your inability to persuade and influence. Think about it. Sure you’ve seen some success, but think of the times you couldn’t get it done. Has there ever been a time when you did not get your point across? Were you unable to convince someone to do something? Have you reached your full potential? Are you able to motivate yourself and others to achieve more and accomplish their goals? What about your relationships? Imagine being able to overcome objections before they happen, know what your prospect is thinking and feeling, feel more confident in your ability to persuade.

I have had a lot of requests for a tool that will help you persuade as you learn. A way for you to choose the correct thing to say, question to ask, the proper response to an objection as well as when and what to say to close the deal.

You requested that this tool help you retain the knowledge as you use it over time, a real world working solution to improving AND RETAINING your persuasion skills.

You asked and delivered, Persuasion Software for the iPhone and iPod Touch is now available through the iTunes Store.

For a limited time we are offering this software for a mere $1.99 (it will be going up to $4.99) BUT there is a catch, all I ask is that you give it a wonderful rating and review (hey it doesn’t hurt to ask). Then give me some feed back right here at this blog post on what you like about the app, what you would improve on and any new features you would like to see for future versions.

Here is the iTunes write up:

Persuasion Software by Kurt Mortensen systematizes the persuasion process for you. It doesn’t matter if it is for sales, recruiting, parenting or life in general, success is found through persuasion.

Wondering what to say or do next while you are influencing others?

What persuasion techniques you should use?

Follow this Persuasion System, and follow what great persuaders do and say.

Persuasion Software is the iPhone tool no one should be with out.

With this software you will quickly be able to:

• Deliver the proper response to others reactions

• Know which direction to take the conversation while prospecting

• Improve your persuasion skills using the 4 R’s of Persuasion

• Easily use a step by step system to improve your closing skills

Also included is a Quick Reference Guide

(this could be an App all by itself)

Includes a section for each:

• Isolate the Objection

• Handling Objections

• Dig Deeper

• Trial Closes

• Low Credibility

• Increase Rapport

• Buying Signals

• Post Questions

• Prospecting Help

Here is the link to get the Persuasion Software App:

http://itunes.apple.com/app/persuasion-software/id339108491?mt=8

As always share this post with friends using the buttons below, post a comment and persuade with power.

Ego kicks in anytime someone challenges your abilities, especially your abilities to do your business, your immediate and instinctive reaction is to prove them wrong! When employing this tactic, be careful to avoid damaging the ego. VERY IMPORTANT: When you cause damage instead of producing a challenge, you will create an air of indifference from your prospect.

Another challenge to someone’s ego is commonly used by sports coaches in a team environment. When during football practice a player is not putting in 100 percent, is late for meetings, or keeps making the same mistake, the coach has a perfect ego-based solution. He brings the team together and explains exactly what has happened with that particular player. He then has the whole team, except for the guilty player, run laps. This punishment is a challenge to the ego of this football player. Such a situation only has to happen once to be persuasive for each member of the team.

There are many challenging messages geared towards our egos. Think of a multilevel marketing meeting, where managers say they are looking for “go-getters” and “people who can take action.” Or what about a teacher who tells the student, “I’d like you to do these advanced assignments”? I have seen sales representatives make a subtle attack on the prospect’s ego when they were not getting the sale. They simply say, “I guess you don’t have the authority to make that decision.” You should see the egos take action! Another example is giving people credit for things they don’t even know. When you give people credit for knowing something they really know nothing about, they generally will say nothing and allow you to believe them to be smarter or more aware than they really are. The catch is that they then will try to live up to the undeserved credit that you have bestowed upon them in order to lead you to believe they really are smart. You have heard such phrases as, “You probably already know….” or “You will soon realize…” These are direct challenges to our egos.

In persuasion, we are faced with the difficult task of building the egos of our listeners while placing our own egos on hold. In order to effectively persuade, you have to let go of your ego and focus on your objective. You don’t have time to mend a bruised ego. Check your ego in at the door and remember your overriding purpose. Focus on persuasion, not on yourself.

As always make a comment and bookmark this page for others. Do you agree? Have an example? Disagree? Forward this page to a friend you think might need help with their ego.

Good listening is not just looking at someone and nodding your head in agreement. You have to acknowledge what is being said and let the other person know that you understand. The more you can acknowledge what is being said, the greater ability you have to persuade and influence. Why? Because the person speaking with you will feel important and understood (Law of Esteem).

Why is listening so difficult for most of us? Why is it that when two people get together and talk, they both walk away with two completely different views about the conversation?  This is an enormous problem in our society today!  Just think about where the world would be today if people took the time to sincerely listen?  Dr. Stephen R. Covey says that to be a Highly Effective Person you must “first seek to understand.”  When you really and truly understand where the other person comes from, your ability to persuade increases 10 fold.  I have included some of the main problems people have with listening so you can get a jump start on developing this critical skill.

• Thinking about our response while the other person is talking. Instead of thinking about what the other person is saying, we often think about what we personally want to say next or where we want the conversation to lead. We are mentally planning our own agenda. In effect, we patiently wait our turn to talk but we never have give and take between the two parties.

• Not Concentrating. We talk at a rate of 120 to 150 words per minute, but we can think 400 to 800 words per minute. This allows us time to think in between words that are being said. We can pretend to listen while really thinking of something else.

• Jumping to Conclusions. Sometimes we assume we know exactly what the other person is going to say next and we begin forming reactions based on those assumptions. We start putting words into the other speaker’s mouth because we are so sure of what they mean.

I encourage you to leave a comment. Are you guilty of any of the above?

As always, if you feel others will benefit from this post please bookmark it at one of the websites below. Thanks.

Here is the first of 11 tracks. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Kurt Mortensen Persuasion Influence Sales Training

Following are 10 simple guidelines to keep your speech and verbal packaging on the right track.

• Don’t use jargon or technical language unless you are sure every member of your audience understands the meaning.

• Don’t use profanity or slang. In general, using profanity damages your credibility. Be sensitive to whatever language your audience might find offensive, profanity or otherwise. Avoid name-calling and other forms of abusive language.

• Speak in everyday language. You want your audience to relate to you and to feel as comfortable with you as possible. Use language that will make you seem familiar and easy to follow.

• Keep your language simple and clear.

• Keep your sentences short. Use as few words as possible unless you are painting the picture–just one idea at a time.

• Use words that will engage the audience. Use “you,” “we,” “us,” and even “I” if you are relating a personal experience.

• Don’t use vague and abstract words. They muddle your meaning and confuse your listener.

• Don’t talk down to your listener by using pompous and pretentious words. Be direct; don’t bluff or beat around the bush.

• Use verb-driven language. By using verb-driven language, you will arouse a greater sense of action and motivation. Using these kinds of verbs will make your statement more convincing because your audience will engage their emotions, consciously and subconsciously. Verbs that are abstract or overused do not communicate excitement.

• Have a good time doing the above. If you dread what you are doing it will show. Think of the big picture and all the good that comes from your presentation for everyone involved.

Sometimes the right word is no word. On occasion we need to remain silent and let the other person talk. We have heard in sales that the first one to talk after the close loses. After the persuasion process and the final decision is ready to be made, make your proposal and shut up. The silence is nerve-wracking, but it’s a critical time to let the prospect make the decision without you rambling on and on about the product or service.

How often have you noticed a sales rep overselling a product? You were ready to make the purchase by handing over your credit card. The sales rep felt you needed to know everything about the product and he started to fill you in. This caused doubt to creep into your mind and you ended up leaving, telling the salesman you would think about it. When someone has been persuaded and convinced, there is no reason to say any more. Strike when the iron is hot!

More communication is not necessarily better persuasion. In fact, the less you talk, the smarter people think you are. The more you say, the more common and less in control you appear. Many individuals try to impress people with what they know by flaunting all their wisdom, but usually this strategy is just a turn-off.